


You Make Me Feel Like I Am Whole Again

by princessxgriffin



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, PTSD, Trust, eh, friendship leading to love, not exactly an expert but i'm trying, post - Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 08:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1598636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessxgriffin/pseuds/princessxgriffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how Darcy Lewis helps James Barnes become whole again.</p><p>Inspired by the Cure's Lovesong:<br/>Whenever I'm alone with you<br/>You make me feel like I am home again<br/>Whenever I'm alone with you<br/>You make me feel like I am whole again</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Make Me Feel Like I Am Whole Again

**Author's Note:**

> I tried

Darcy couldn’t believe that it was half past 11 on a Friday night and she was sitting in a god damn lab. She didn't quite know what she expected when she accepted a job as an assistant to Jane in the Stark tower, but she had imagined it to be much more exciting than this. Sure there were lots of hot agents and super heroes (Captain America, amiright?), but she had just spent the last three hours logging down the most uninteresting readings with the measuring devices surrounding her. Jane had recently collected a shit ton of Asgardian flora and they were testing their reactions to different stimuli, or rather Darcy was while Jane did something else entirely different on the side.

The only time things had gotten cool was when the octopus shaped plant had blown up to three times its original size when it came into contact with her latex glove, but things had gone downhill from then. The blasé look on her face was growing more and more indifferent by the minute. “Jane,” she called over her shoulder as she placed a colorful plant into the silver pan sitting in front of her, “why don’t we make things _a lot_ more interesting by eating some of it? Or we could even smoke something.” She released the organism and turned to her petite friend, flashing a toothy smile. She saw Jane’s stern glare and then lamely offered, “For science?”

“We are _not_ smoking alien plant life.”

“I was only thinking about the results of the experiment. We could test the effects they have on the human-” she cut off in the middle of her joke when she recognized Jane's pained expression, that was the face she made before she swung into one of her rare but disastrous super bitch moods. She turned back to her own work with a huff. She was quiet during the examination of the next two species, but that was as long as she could last. “We need to take a break.”

“Let’s go get a snack. There’s a kitchen in the lounge near the elevators.” Jane set down her Stark tablet and Darcy caught a glimpse of a figure on the screen, all decked out in leather, a gleaming arm shining through the darkness.

“You reading the files from the leak _again_?” Darcy rolled her eyes as she snapped off her gloves and then moved to gently remove her goggles. They left puffy angry marks on her skin and she desperately tried to rub them away.

“I just want to know the kind of people we’re working with.” Jane told her simply, but there was an obvious uneasiness about her. “Let’s go.”

“To the kitchen!” Darcy cried enthusiastically, leading them out of the lab.

 

* * *

 

A month ago, Bucky had been wandering D.C, wild, confused and extremely dangerous. Now he was staring down at the streets of New York city from the Stark Tower, hair wet and slicked back from a shower, and a steaming hot cup of coffee in his metal hand. It was a hard idea to get used to, but he shook off the worry, knowing that his transition had been a good one, even if he was still apprehensive about his mental health.

The city lights lit up by the night while he watched as large groups of people passed by on the sidewalk. Most stared up at what everyone now called the ‘Avenger’s building’ with awe, some idiots occasionally stepping out into the road without looking and getting honked at by angry drivers.

He used to be comfortable in crowds, especially at night clubs or carnivals, he’d feed off the energy and it’d excite him to no end, but that was before. Now they made him feel uncomfortable and trapped, the bright lights hurting his eyes. He was glad to be in the darkness of the lounge twenty five stories up.

It was crazy to think that his life had been semi-normal 70 years ago. He fought in the war like every other able-bodied man, had a best friend and spent lots of time with lots of pretty dames, or at least that’s how he remembered it. Most of his memories felt fuzzy, like they had been watched in a theater and not actually lived by him.

Bucky decided that contemplating his past wouldn't help him relax and he pushed everything aside. He was just letting himself sink deep into the downy cushions underneath him when he picked up on bickering voices in another room. His jaw clenched in irritation. It was remarkably hard to find peace and quiet in a tower so large. Two women entered the hallway and made their way to the little kitchenette behind him, arguing the entire time and it was impossible not to listen.

“Jane, I know we’re so terribly busy, but I can’t stay here all night. Remember Misty?”

“Who?”

“The sweet little dog I adopted three weeks ago. Y’know, the one I’ve been gushing to you about 24/7?”

“Oh yeah, I... I remember that.”

The weak statement was followed by an irritated sigh.

“I’m sorry, Darcy, but you know that I have enough trouble keeping up with everything in my _own_ life.”

“Yes, I know and it’s great that I am finally getting paid to be your servant, but I need to know when I can leave. Am I going to have to call my neighbor and tell him that he needs to babysit?”

“I think you might.”

“ _Fine_.” There was the snapping of a phone opening and it was followed by fingers rapidly pressing against a keyboard. “You’re lucky that he’s really hot and that this creates a great opportunity for me.” The door to the fridge opened and he could see the light in the reflection on the window.

“Just hurry up, alright?” Bucky could see the woman fidgeting in his peripheral vision.

“Oh god, Jane, is this that Soldier thing again? Do you really think he would be allowed to wander the building if he was dangerous?”

“I really don’t think Tony makes the sanest choices. And if you think about it, letting the Winter Soldier loose in his own tower after what he did in D.C wouldn’t be the worst thing Stark’s done.”

“You can just call me James.” Bucky called over his shoulder and then took a long drag of his drink.

There was a loud yelp and the lights flickered on. Bucky lazily turned his head to look at the pair. The one he suspected to be Jane had her hand to her mouth and was looking at him in shock. He shifted to look at the other, Darcy, and a surprising amount of pleasure filled him. He had noticed her before. She was all soft curves, flowing hair and plump lips. And her eyes always seemed to be filled with amusement, even now when they were directed towards him.

“Dude, you have a thing for hanging out in dark creepy corners?” Her arms were full of drinks and bagels and she set them down on the counter after she questioned him.

“They seem to be the best place for frightening unsuspecting girls.” He told her, completely deadpan, and her smile grew wider as he turned back to the window. He frowned, he hadn’t expected to do anything but glower at them, but his mouth seemed to have a mind of its own. “Do you two always have to be so loud?”

“Snarky.” She laughed. “I like it.”

“You’re,” Jane began slowly, “you’re him.”

“I am.” He rose from the armchair to refill his empty mug and she stared up at him in a combination of awe and fear, slowly backing away to stand near her friend. “Don’t worry, I’m only a danger to those who annoy me.”

“Darcy, we should go back to the lab.” She tugged on the edge of the younger woman’s sleeve desperately.

“Ignore her, James.” Darcy pushed her hand away and began to casually spread generous spoonfuls of cream cheese on her bagel. “She’s always on edge when the only source of energy she’s getting is from pop tarts, caffeinated drinks and the excitement of waiting for her god boyfriend to descend from the heavens and fuck her brains out.”

“ _Darcy_.” Jane said sharply, her face flaming and the corners of Bucky’s lips nearly quirked up, but he stayed focused on his boiling drink, trying not to look amused.

She was turning to place her used spoon into the sink when she caught sight of his left hand curled around the coffee pot. “Oooh, metal arm.” She leaned down to examine it, a look of wonder in her eyes. “I heard about this thing, but I didn’t expect it to be so damn cool.”

Bucky was used to everyone staring at it with fear or scientific interest, but he had never put the ‘cool’ factor of his bionic arm into perspective. He stared down at her not knowing how to respond. Luckily, he didn’t have to because seconds later the doors to the elevator slid open and Steve Rogers entered the lounge.

Steve’s eyes lit up in surprise when he saw that his friend wasn’t alone and then his brow quirked up when he caught his confused expression. “Darcy.” He nodded and Bucky automatically noticed how tense he seemed.

“Hey, Cap, I was just telling James here that-” her voice died in her throat when the other man in the elevator filed into the room behind Steve.

Phil Coulson.

 

* * *

 

Steve knew Darcy was going to be pissed. He knew the whole story, how Darcy’s initial dislike of Coulson slowly turned into full-fledged adoration. She had the biggest right out of them all to be angry about his faked death. He had expected it, but what he hadn’t expected was for her to be the first one to pull a smile out of Bucky.

“Miss Lewis.” Phil smiled sheepishly and stepped out from behind him, nervousness clear on his usually unruffled demeanor.

“ _Phil Coulson_.” She ground his name out, practically baring her teeth and before he could say another word, she had marched forward and brought her hand across his jaw, the contact making a loud _thwack._

The next thing that followed was muffled laughter. Steve looked for the source and was surprised as hell to see Bucky’s lips twitching as he tried to hold back another snigger, a full-blown Bucky Barnes smirk on his face. Delight was plain in his eyes as he looked back and forth between them and Steve.

Darcy failed to notice. She was too busy chewing Phil out. “I thought you were fucking dead, Phil, DEAD. And don’t try to apologize,” she screamed when he opened his mouth, “I’m so fucking mad at you.”

“Miss Lewis.” Coulson tried to rest his hands on her shoulders, but she twisted away from his reach and backed away until she was stopped by the edge of the kitchen counter. “Please listen to me. It was the only way. No one-” he cut off and winced, “barely anyone knew.”

“What, my security clearance not high enough?” She asked sarcastically and crossed her arms, making it evident that she didn’t want him near her.

“ _Darce._ ” He said her nickname softly, suddenly informal. “Please listen to me. I missed you and I’m sorry, but I’m here now. I knew you’d be furious but I thought you’d be at least a little relieved.”

Silence stretched on as everyone watched them stare each other down, a look of defeat on Coulson and one of defiance on Lewis. Eventually, she let up and grabbed onto his sleeve so she could pull him in for tight hug. “I am, asshole.”

“Oh, thank god.” Jane let out a sigh of relief from behind them and made over her way to them, giving Bucky a wide berth. “Good to see you alive and breathing, Phil.”

Darcy pulled the unwilling woman into the hug. “You’re welcome to join, Cap.” She playfully called over her shoulder. “I’m sure Phil would _really_ appreciate it.”

“I’m good.” Steve couldn’t control the embarrassed smile that pulled at his mouth and he scratched the back of his head while he watched them.

The trio eventually made their way to labs, Darcy telling Phil that he needed to help with boring science work in order to make up for faking his death. “I’ll see you in the meeting tomorrow, Steve.” Coulson said with a smile and then his eyes landed on Bucky, all formal again. “Goodnight, Mr. Barnes.”

When they were gone, Steve turned to his friend with a big grin. “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile in over 70 years.”

The amusement on Bucky’s features died and a bored look instantly replaced it. “Yeah, well, the kid’s funny and it was nice to see something other than suspicion on Coulson’s face when he’s around me.”

“You were talking to them earlier?”

“They interrupted my coffee time.” He said with a shrug and turned to refill his mug.

“So, Darcy, huh?” Steve could tell that Bucky’s interest in speaking was beginning to wane and he desperately wanted to get some sort of conversation out of him. “She’s a real spitfire.”

But all he got from him was, “she’s alright,” before he finished off the pot and made his way back into the lounge, dropping a not so subtle hint that he wanted to be left alone.

Steve couldn’t help but let his shoulders fall as he watched him walk away from the light of the kitchen and into his shaded area on the other side of the room. It was symbolic really. He’d think he’d be getting somewhere but then Bucky would shut him out again and withdraw into the darkness of himself. He just wanted his best friend back. He would do anything to have James Barnes here again, but he suspected that the only thing needed to get there was time. He could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing playlist:  
> Lovesong- The Cure  
> All of Me- John Legend  
> Stop and Stare- One Republic  
> Landfill- Daughter  
> Cannonball- Damien Rice  
> Love Somebody- Maroon 5  
> Do I Wanna Know- The Arctic Monkeys  
> Feel So Close- Calvin Harris
> 
> Also, follow me on Tumblr: ur-dad-sells-apples-andy.tumblr.com


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